Ashly: Oh my god. You’re a terrorist. Anthony: What? Ashly: My own brother? Anthony: I’m not a terrorist. Ashly: All along… Anthony: I’m not a terrorist! Ashly: How did I not see the signs? It all adds up. Anthony: What adds up? Ashly: You’re angry all the time, you have a beard- Papa Burch: You’re brown. Ashly: Holy shit. Anthony: What? You’re brown, too! Ashly: Don’t drag me into this! You’re the one doin’ all the shady shit! Anthony: What, being brown and having a beard? That’s not shady shit, that’s racial profiling. Ashly: Then explain those little red envelopes you keep sending out every week. Anthony: The Netflix DVDs? Ashly: What the fuck is Netflix? Papa Burch: It’s probably like Anthrax or some bullshit. Anthony: No it’s not! Ashly: YOU PUT NETFLIX IN THOSE? Anthony: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
Ashly: If I was stuck in a dark forest, would you come look for me? Anthony: Yeah, would you come look for me? Ashly:What? Are you fucking kidding me? Anthony: What? Ashly: CHRIST no. Anthony: But- Ashly: Are you serious? Anthony: Well, yeah- Ashly: Do you know how our relationship works at all? Antony: Well, I thought it was kind of dysfunctional and emotionally taxing but, like, at the heart of it, it was actually really lovin- Ashly:Are you shitting me?
Ashly Burch, you are my absolute favourite girl in the world.
Ashly: What’s the haps? Anthony: I’m trying to come up with an interesting mentor character for the game I’m writing. Ashly: Write me. Put me in there. Anthony: No. Ashly: Fade in. Interior. Our computer room. Anthony: Can you shut up and help me? Ashly: You see the protagonist wielding a Nerf gun the size of a bazooka and masturbating to a picture of herself wearing a goatee. Anthony: What are you talking about? Ashly: Fade to black. Roll credits.
“Ready for bed, honey?”
The Chocolate Taco
If you are a fan of the HAWPcast, just… just watch this.
